Life's Sideshow...

2006-03-25T16:29:00.000-04:00

BRB

2005-12-06T13:16:00.000-04:00

Well, School is over. I will be gone until January so post to you guys then, bye...

Aniversary

2005-12-02T09:05:00.000-04:00

Well, tomorrow's my parent's Aniversary, I'm not sure how many years but I think it's 12 or 13? Oh well, it's weird though, my parents fight so much but they're still together. They've been through hell, they lost two kids, my two little brothers, moved constantly, it's just weird.

Army?

2005-12-02T08:50:00.000-04:00

Well, my birthday is in 20 days, and I'm not sure I'm that happy about it. I recieved something from the army when I graduated from High School, and it said I had signed up for the army and as soon as I turn 18 that I'll be in it because of the Pell-Grant Tuition. I don't believe in the Army, seriously, I don't see how you defend your country putting inocent men in the line of fire, just because this old geever decides to call war. How many soldiers haven't already died? And I personally don't believe in killing others, no matter how tempted I feel to kill some people sometimes. I am so against war, politics, killing, what's the point? Why do we have to go to war?

It Was You

2005-12-01T08:35:00.000-04:00

It was you that made me love
It was you that made me live
It was you that made me feel all things things I feel today

I just want to say that Michelle was and still is the most special person in my life. Last night we were talking and just felt like we were still together. I remembered the nights we spent together, the hours on the couch just staring at each other. The time we went to the park next to her house and we kissed while falling on the slide. The time I didn't go to work just to be with her, and I waited for her while she was in her modeling class, then we were together the whole day. I miss those days in which we were in school and we used to sit on the bench to just look at each other then those random kisses that came once in a while. I really need to be with her, I need to just see her in front of me, maybe to just look at each other endlessly. It wa the greatest time ever just to be with her or to talk with her on the telephone, just hearing the things she comes up with. And all those little fights we used to have when she would just say,"Ay Juan ya!" And then we'd be kissing endlessly on her couch. Or when I used to play with her ear and she'd end up laughing her beautiful laugh. I really need her right now cause I love her and it's obvious that I can't live without her.

Tears, sweat and lots of penicillin

2005-11-30T10:09:00.000-04:00

So I've had this cold for a while, since Friday before Thanksgiving, now I have to take Penicillin. And nothing else is new in my life, I guess I feel just like Michelle did once, like if I'm just waiting for something but at the moment I don't know what it is, or maybe I do but I don't want to accept it.
Here's a bit of psychology;
The human mind is divided into four parts

The part everyone knows Including you What you only know

What everyone but you know What nobody but your inner selfconscience knows

Interesting Maybe!?!

For those who understand chocolate is mine only!?! You know who you are

Dancing in the Rainshower of tears

2005-11-28T09:07:00.000-04:00

It's so incredible the things that go through the human mind when it's most vulnerable to anything. From Wednesday to Sunday I was thinking about Michelle and how she has this whole dilemma about getting over me. I wish I could just give her hope, about us but how? I mean, we live miles apart, she can't handle distance, I can't either, but at least knowing I have someone on the other side lets me live in peace, but it's over. No matter how much I regret that night we stood in front of each other with that gate between us, and I told her to not say it was goodbye but maybe a see you later. Then when she was about to leave and turns to me and kisses me on the lips. That kiss that seemed to last forever, and then that moment we let go my world shattered. This emptiness filled my insides, my chest caved in, my breath left my body and tears washed my face, just like they're about to now. Then walking back to my house I felt rain drops slowly tap my head and shoulders. Walking to my house was endless, it felt like walking in the desert, but with pavement and rain, lots of rain. I felt that at that moment I was starting to lose it all. When I got to my house I cried the endless cries I hadn't cried in years. All those years of torment, mistreatment, anger, every feeling posible that I could ever feel just made me feel down. I've taken this new role in my life, as the guy you'd never want to be, but looking at how I came to be who I am today, just makes my life a bit more beautiful. I wouldn't trade anything about my life, not even the pain, who else would know how to handle it but me. By the way, look out for my book, The Scene, I don't know when it'll be out, but it's just mostly about this young boy living and surviving his own desisions, heck I just started it the other day, but I have so much to write, just in case, yes this is the book of my life portrayed in someone else. Michelle, I love you.

Blah?

2005-11-15T09:37:00.001-04:00

So I know I haven't posted in a long while. School's almost over, me and Michelle broke up, I moved to Yabucoa, My sex life is dead, music is beautiful, college is stupid, my friends...I don't know? What to say I feel like crap everyday, I guess I've lost a lot of things these past months. I just hope I don't lose my sanity, It's all I have left...Until a time where I can write calmly, goodbye.

Forever Yours

2005-10-26T08:42:00.000-04:00

I don't know anything about anything at all. I love you too, there's no changing that, moving on well, I have no idea about that, all I know is that i never wanted to be away from you anyway. Being this far away and trying to figure out if we should or shouldn't move on is torturing I don't plan on moving on, you know that I still have faith in our future, together, and I am not in anyway going to try to replace you or forget you or try and think that you were something that just happened for a while, I still love you and I wish I could be with you everyday. And can anybody tell me WHY I CAN'T READ MY EMAILS?!?!?!?! I love you and I hope that you never forget that

move on?

2005-10-25T20:15:00.000-04:00

I hate this phrase " you should just move on"...
The thing is no one understands that even though am not with you, I still have feelings for you.
Lots of them! I know I am just too stubborn. I know both you and I have the right to make up our lives again, but I just don't want to move on. You are my everything, my heart is all yours and I can't take that back, you own my love and I don't want to change that. I don't want to scare you, if I do I apologize, I don't want you to feel like if I am in someway clingy or something. You know I feel all these things but I know you do to. Tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to move on? Whatever you decide I'll understand... still love you! 4-ever urs,miky

Us Guys...

2005-10-10T09:04:00.000-04:00

Isn't it incredible how we guys can be such jerks. I mean, look at me, I haven't seen Michelle in a months and a week or two...(that's to long...) and while she's sad cause we haven't seen each other, of course I am to ( I'm so depressive I've lost 6 pounds... 122lbs to 116), but I call her telling her something I've done which I feel was wrong after all this time without seeing each other. just in case no I did not cheat on her. and I just made her feel worse, why were we born with testosterone? But beside's that we aren't all that bad, are we?

Boo Hoo Who?

2005-09-29T09:22:00.000-04:00

Well the time is almost here and my parents are moving, this really sucks. To see Michelle, well it's going to be harder, but I'll try my best. University life is boring I would do anything to go back to 12th grade it was the best, I have an A in spanish, that good, a B in biology, a B in social science and tuesday I have a test in Human Culture, or humanidades as it's called here, or huma. Well the people here in the University are selfish pricks who think they own the world just because they've been here a month, and really, it's hard to sustain a conversation with anyone, i have this friend here which I do talk to, she's one of the few which I can sustain a converstion with, it's very interesting to talk with her çause she's a female version of me! Which I always thought would be repulsive and obscene, but she's nice to get along with, beside's her there's this other girl who's the kind of surfer like but she's never been on one, and she fun to be with not to talk to, cause she's always spaced out, but we laugh and joke around in huma. Just in case, yes I do know and accept that it's easier for me to make friends with girls than with guys, but no, I am not and will ever be unfaithful to michelle. The fact is, it's hard enough being in one relationship to have another?( just joking) but seriously, I don't ever want to be with anyone else but Michelle. I don't know why sex seems to be a complicated thing to talk about with Michelle, it's so hard to say no but a relief to know you're not doing anything, I love Michelle too much to do it at this point in the relationship, Baby I love you. We've been five months, two weeks and three days together, and I find it incredible that it feels so much longer, it's like an eternity, but I've been loving this eternity. Well bye...

Sorry bout that

2005-09-16T09:18:00.000-04:00

yeah sorry, I know I said that I was going to stop posting but I guess I just can't decide to leave just like that. I love doing this when I actually do this right, so this is my anti- leaving promise, I will not stop blogging!

Goodbye

2005-09-13T11:58:00.000-04:00

This is my last post. I've decided to apart from anything that reminds me I exist. Goodbye Michelle, Harper, Anna, Family, Friends, people who read this blog for no reason at all, Maybe someday I'll return, for now I'm just not here...

Hello again

2005-08-30T10:51:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, I guess I haven't posted in a long while, but what can I say college finally has me working, not really. But college life has been fun there's no real pressure, It's like a kiddie coaster, small twist and turns but nothing big. So this thursday I have my first big exam it's terrible but I really don't care I'm confident in myself, although it's from spanish class I'm really relaxed.
So me and Michelle? Well, that's been hard, being distant and stuff but we'll get through it, we love each other so there's no real reason to be scared of this time apart. I never felt like this this before, I've never had such a strong feeling of love towards someone but now I do, and it's beautiful. I miss Michelle so much, I miss her smile, her eyes, her yelling at me then she says she's not yelling, and all those small simple things you never notice about a person. Michelle I love you.
So Harper, how are things over there? Hows School? Don't stress out, bye

Le Magique de le Boredom

2005-08-15T11:43:00.000-04:00

You have no idea the things I've come up with the past week to kill my boredom. I've slept, played guitar, and slept. Now that's amazing, I'm really looking foward to vissiting Michelle this weekend! It's going to be the greatest, unless something out of the ordinary happens and, I don't know? Well I guess I have nothing else to say...Bye?

hello...

2005-08-14T18:41:00.000-04:00

Hi you guys it's me Michelle!
As I once said, I was going to keep you updated... so now i am.
Its been a week since I last saw my boyfriend! I have to say it was one of the hardest weeks of my life. Well, at first it wasn't that hard I was saying to myself this is going to be easier that I imagine, well it got worst I started missing my boyfriend and I had no way of communicating with him. that was pretty frustrating, but on tuesday my boyfriend called and I was all happy again. Little did I know it was going to get pretty ugly! This past friday we celebrated our fourth month together as a couple, miles away from each other, he did call, but I felt like dying. I couldn't believe I wasn't going to be able to be with him! I was seriously crushed, so I broke down in tears, to this point I still haven't seen him since he moved away! Still I am hopful that i'll get to be with him this next weekend. Hopefully! Anyways, you guys I have to go, still i'll keep in contact with you 2! Good luck 2 you, stay sweet, take care! l8r! att, Michelle

p.s. I LOVE YOU JUAN!

Umm...Yeah?

2005-08-10T14:07:00.000-04:00

College is sooo boring, I have this great free time of four and a half hours... Yup, this really sucks. Today I was given this project in which I have to work with three other students...Well, before leaving the class we decided we were going to meet at the libary at 10:20, I got out of class at 10:30, but I still went to the library... Blah blah blah...they didn't show up...I was there at 10:30, I waited till 11:45, came to the computer lab, went back to the library, walked around the library's three floors...started to search for them around the whole library, searched for them around the University, I risked be iniciated, and still I didn't find them...This really sucks!!! But anyway, I went to Radioshack and I checked out the laptops, the guy wanted to sell me a big combo, printer, camera and laptop I was trying to understand what part of me saying, "I have the printer and camera did he not understand. I've found out that this world is full of ignorant people, and they'll do anything to get their ways. In a certain way I find this to be incredibly interesting, I mean, the stress that people go to to just sell you something, the funny part his when they don't know doodle about what they're selling, I started asking him aboutwhat programs the laptop came with, then he started reading from his computer the laptop's specifications, like if I don't know what a USB port is. Changing the subject completely, my biology Professor is funny. I learned today how to kill a cockaroach, (don't we all need to know that?), and also that germs live anywhere dark and moist, example; armpits, mouth, ears, nose, vagina(ha ha ha). The last one I came up with that, me being a former sexaholic, well...I think about these things at the least thought of moment, it's funny, it can even be considered hilarious, just ask Michelle about the things I can come up with in Church...Speaking of church(man I really have a lot to say!) I'm searching for God in church here in Yabucoa...Yeah I know most of you don't have the lest bit of an idea where that is, blah blah blah...Ummm...So with nothing else that comes to mind I am off to keep searching the web...bye

College

2005-08-09T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hey guys College sucks! It's not that big a deal, it's just bigger. I've been able to avoid getting "prepa", in english i think it's to be iniciated, i guess it's tradition but I don't plan to get get wet with a super soaker in school, it's freaking embarasing, but it's to dance or get wet. good question...

Its time!

2005-08-06T20:45:00.000-04:00

hey guys its me michelle! Just writting to let you guys know today is the last day my boyfriend is going to live near by me. He is leaving tomorrow! still dont know what time but it is really sad, this whole factor of he leaving for college. It is going to feel so strange, we where so use to seen each other everyday, hanging out in my house, or going out to watch a movie! now i am only going to get to see him on weekends, but not for long cause his parents are planning on moving too. As you all know! then i'll only get to see him once a month. I know it is hard, but i still have to be optimistic! and i know we are going to get through this, it might not be as it used to be , cause we are going to live lots of miles away, but we'll make it. I know so! so thanx again 4 been so supportive and 4 caring so much! and dont worry we'll keep u updated! thanx bye!

Alarmed?

2005-07-30T21:22:00.000-04:00

Please, my mind is just a playground of mass destruction. I guess if you ask if you should be alarmed, I should say yes, but then again, why? Why would anyone be alarmed? Why do we worry? Is it not obscenely noticeable the fact that all we are is dust. Just like that song from Kansas, Dust in the Wind. We are all in prepetual danger. Life holds nothing but mystery. I don't understand the fact that life is joy, 'cause personally, it isn't, not for me. I do understand that it brings joy, in some ways, and that if concentrate long enough we can actually forget life's troubles but still, where would that take us? I've started my life with God. And somehow, life just seems shorter, although we are eternal, but it's so weird. Death was never a concern for me. Afraid of death? No, never. Afraid of dying, yes. It's the loss of what we have that provokes this, at least I think so. But, at the end of it all, should we worry? If we are with God, Should we worry? Life for me has taken so many unexpected turns, I don't know if I'm coming or going? Hey, you know what why care? lets just pretend it's all going to be fine.

The Dying Process

2005-07-28T22:06:00.000-04:00

As the impact of the harshness of life withers in your heart, time slowly fades away. The breaths taken seem to have no end. A spinning wheel of rambling thoughts, just spins round and round. As you close your eyes the thoughts become clearer, they seem like pictures on a spinning wheel. As soon as they clear up they stike your heart with the evil the held, the evil that wasn't noticed, the evil in which everyone had inside. You watch the scene, the pictures, it all turns into a dagger which stabbed the very inside of the heart. One scene, just the last one strikes you the hardest. Here you see all those people you ever loved, and loved you back. They surround you, in an odd way. They're facing are impossible to see, but still you know who they are. Your body is in pain, and it's imposible to move. Your breath just stops. The loved ones around you from a dark wall that imprisons you. More agonizing pain strains you. Gasping for air you try to scream, but it's useless. Your chest closes in, you wither, you die. But somewhere inside you don't realize it. Then it all turns black, you are lost in time and space, just in an eternal silence and darkness, till that moment finally comes...

It's just life, right?

2005-07-25T15:48:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been fun the whole being with Michelle, but the time for me to go is getting closer. The fact is that I wasn't sad that I was leaving 'cause my parents were staying near by, so as I visited them I would come see Michelle. The thing is that now my parents are moving in November and now I have no way of coming here on weekends. I love Michelle very much, but my parents are only in the disposition to bring me here once a month, and...

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!111

2005-07-12T10:48:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it Michelle and I have been together for three whole months. It's been wonderful! more than wonderful spectacular! I can't believe I love her so much it just wonderful! Hello to everyone, I'm happy, Anyone notice? Of course! Well the only thing that would make this better would be to be in Vancouver tonight, to be at the Warped tour of Atreyu, one of the best freaking bands around! Well, people in Vancouver enjoy the concert! I'll be here enjoying myself with Michelle! I love her so much! Umm... Bye?

Thanks

2005-07-10T23:07:00.000-04:00

Hey people it's Michelle, I just wanted to express my appreciation towards Harper. Hey man thanks for been such a great person and been so supportive. I am really glad I met someone like you and anna! You guys are really nice people and I really appreciate the interest you guys have put in our relationship! We are extremely happy right now everything is going just fine, really hope it stays that way. I really wish you guys all the happiness in the world! thanks once again for all the advice given! Take care and don't worry we'll let you guys know anything! bye! l8r

Hello!

2005-07-06T11:45:00.000-04:00

Hey I'm back!
Well, just wanted to post because someone called my attention for not posting, well, here I am.

I'm leaving my job! And I got three warning notices!, Two for arriving late and one for eating m&m's, wow, A whole year without warnings and in one week i got three!

Michelle and I are very happy, even though I am moving away. but anyway, this Tuesday we're going to celebrate three months together! It's amazing!

Well anyways, I posted not leaving anyone in the dust! So bye bye!

Never meant to be so cold...

2005-06-27T21:41:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've last posted. But all I really want to say is that, as Michelle said, the end is coming, I have no idea what has come upon me, but I can't find any other way to try and avoid my feelings towards Michelle. The semester is starting august 8, and I've been trying to be strong and stray my feelings toward Michelle, as I said because, well, I understand it's going to be hard for us both. At nights, I can't sleep because Michelle is constantly in my head, it's like a guilty conscience, the side effect of doing something you shouldn't, and I guess that what I'm doing is denying what's to come. Baby, I'm sorry for that. People, right now is a very delicate time in both our lives, we've been together for quite a while, and I don't want this to end, not yet, not like this. This whole college thing has been like a terrible nightmare, in which, seriously, I've actually thought of putting my life in hold, till she comes out of high school, but I can't control my life 'cause I'm still underage. But after writing all this, I guess the only place I can look for help, is in God. After all, I still have faith.

running out ...

2005-06-26T23:20:00.000-04:00

hello is me, michelle,
Running out is a catchy title don't you think! Anyways my concern is how much time do we have left? I am christian and as christians we believe that God is coming for his church any day now. I know, I am not planning on talking about religion and I am not refering on how much time we have unto the Lord comes. Today I am refering to how much time do we have left for everyone! Now days our lives are so complicated! with: work, family time, ourselves,church,others, etc. How much time is enough time to spend on that person we love? I don't know about you all, but I know that if spending time with my boyfriend was up to me I'd never do anything else , but sadly life doesn't work like that and I have lots of thing to take care of and I can't devote as much time to my relationship as I would like too. So how do I know if my time is running out? I really don't know if I've explained myself well enough, but I just want to listen to somebody elses point of view in this running out of time thing! I say this because my boyfriend is moving in a month and I don't know if am dividing my time correctly with him! So if any of you know something I could do to make this little problem better, feel free to comment about it! thanx 4 listening! take care everyone!

wow!

2005-06-22T20:45:00.000-04:00

hey baby! I hope everything is ok! haven't heard from you all day!
I love you! bye! oh and everyone else my trip was great! really enjoyed going to the US of the first time! It was a very overwhelming experience! I went to see some baseball games Yankees vs Cardinals, and Red Sox vs Cardinals. They were great! I had lots of fun, but I had to come back I missed my boyfriend 2 much! anyways goodnight! l8tr everyone!

Simpathy

2005-06-19T19:21:00.001-04:00

Ok, So anything new? No! Life is great, My friends from the car accident are ok, and Michelle and I are just great. My parents are having a blast making fun of me with Michelle, and so is my Grandfather. Ok, whatever, can anybody tell me the true meaning of simpathy? I've been trying to figure it out, but the dictionary's definition doesn't quite satisfy me. Please I know this seems like something stupid but, don't you think that most things in life just don't satisfy anyone with the meaning it's given? Oh, and before I forget Happy Father's Day!

Please Pray

2005-06-14T20:24:00.000-04:00

I'm not a fluent prayer person, but I've found a reason to pray. Some of my school friends were in a car accident Saturday morning. Out of everyone there, one came out with a serious injury on her hand, which might need to be reconstructed. Another just hurt his hand, but nothing serious. Another suffers of migranes and she's got some bruises on her head. Another, well, the other just broke his Psp. But the deal is they were six people in a SUV, (one in the trunk) and all of them are emotionally broken down. They won't even leave their houses, those who are at their houses, but anyway, could you just pray for them. My friends and I are neverending fun and laughter, I just don't want to say that this fun has ended.

This is my life... pt2

2005-06-08T22:10:00.000-04:00

So I was being raised by lots of women, my mom, grandmother, aunts, mom's cousin, and who knows who else. The point to that is that my dad wasn't even a figure in my life at that time. What had happened at the time is unknown to me but all I know is that he wasn't there. I was five years old when all of the suddened my mom and I went to Tampa. ¿Yay? Well, I met my dad...

Oh Crap!

2005-06-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

So Michelle is gone. Now I'm going to be lonely for a whole week! This sucks!

This is my life... pt1

2005-06-06T21:25:00.000-04:00

It was New York, 1987, a dark day, December 22. Oh, it was cold, as any day in winter in New York should be. My mom was at Belvue hospital since 3 o'clock in the morning. Yes, Belvue is a psychiactric hospital, I was born in the perfect spot, just to learn by my own that I should be locked in there. Anyways, at 8:00 in the morning the horrible screams of a 20 year old mother to be, silenced the hospital as she gave birth to a beautiful young boy. This boy, which was named, Juan Jos,unfortunatelyy not by my father, which is something most boys have a priveledge to, but by my grandmother, on my mother's side. My dad was missing out on this supposedly because he was getting drunk who knows where, I personnaly don't give a hoot for him anymore. Well, the little boy boy grew up, learning spanish as his main language at home, just to loose it as he entered school. I don't remember my dad that much, and really, I don't think he was ever around that much. 'Cause of this I grew up around lots, and lots of women; my mom, my grandmother, my aunt, my mom's aunt, my younger aunt, and many other women. Anyway starting school was fun I guess. I don't remember anything else...

So life is like a box of chocolates...

2005-06-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

...or is it more like a box of thumbnails, when curious to stick your hand in, you find a thumbnail and you feel pain unexpectedly. Whatever, people don't eat at McDonald's, you do not know what we do to food! Today, making salads a couple of grape tomatoes fell to the floor, any idea what happened next, yup! Moving on to something interesting, graduation is in twelve days! =(It's sad you know, here in Puerto Rico high school is only three years! But these three years have been the most beautiful, satisfying, precious years of my life, especially when you take out the self-absorbed people, the teachers that lower your self-esteem, the students you call friends that aren't really your friends but you hang out with them anyway, and not leaving out the small quiet kids with who you never spent time with but you tried to talked to them at least twice( once is never enough) and besides everything else, everything else! School is beautiful, enjoy it why it lasts... =p

2005-06-06T20:53:00.000-04:00

Hey what the hey is that? oh just great! Who let that freak out? Ok, these are a few of my friends; Yasdel(white and chubby), Mar�a (white with hat), Charlene( anime, manga, whatever freak), Aida ( my sister by heart), and then comes Linda ( the thing up front with her back towards you, blah blah blah)

2005-06-06T20:37:00.000-04:00

This a Very good friend of mine, one who I will miss dearly. Just in case he is not gay!

2005-06-06T20:31:00.000-04:00

Me!

leaving!

2005-06-05T14:10:00.000-04:00

Hello whats-up people? its me Michelle . Just writting to let you know, I am finally leaving Puerto Rico! Just for a week, but it is still so cool. I am going to Missouri, with my family this Tuesday! I'll write all about it when I come back from my trip. Anyways, baby I want you to know I am going to miss you a lot! I'll be thinking about you every day! I'll be wishing to come back only because of you!I love you! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! bye

Is this the correct word?

2005-05-31T17:03:00.000-04:00

Hello, first of all I have to thanks skyler for his comment it really helped! I know you might be wondering about my title...Well, here it goes! One day I was thinking to myself what the word LOVE meant. I found out that the word LOVE is too complicated to describe, but as always I wasn't going to give up that easy so I started to mention the qualities of this word. This was what came to mind...LOVE: it is pacient, kind, it is not jealous or proud, it doesn't count up wrongs, it forgives , it always trust, it is compassionate, understanding, unselfish, comforting, it always believes, it is sincere, it is being able to miss everything about the person you LOVE, putting that person first instead of yourself, it is able to accept that someone for who they are and not for what they have or can give, it is a total detachment of yourself. These are some of the qualities that came to mind I know I am missing some, but I couldn't remember! sorry! Juan I truely, honestly Love you! This is the way I am feeling right now and I never want it to end! Baby, I LOVE YOU! miky

tRULY, dEEPLY mADLY IN lOvE

2005-05-23T16:33:00.000-04:00

So last night I couldn't sleep. I closed my eyes and I saw Michelle, opened them up again, and saw Michelle. The only thing I could do last night was write about her and how much I love her...

It's Called Sleepless in Love

Amarte ha sido mi cielo. Esto que siento por ti es inexplicable.Solo se, que te quiero, y si te apartaras de mi, seria mi vida, mas vacia de loque era. Toda mi vida me condene a no amar, de vivir sin sentir amor, pero tu me cambiaste.
Tenerte a mi lado es un lujo que me produce gran placer. Como los reyes tienen su gran tesoro , mi tesoro eres tu. En mi solo despertaste una pregunta, ¿Porque me amas? que tengo yo que te produce gran extasis? Pero entiendo que no vale la pena saberlo para no aruinar el momento. Sea lo que sea, te amo. Si el cielo se desapareciera, no perderia yo mi esperanza de estar en el, porque estar contigo es estar en el cielo.
Eso que llamamos "cursi" es solo un detalle admirable. Que ya siendo de ti, no me molesta, me atrae mas a ti. Quisiera tenerte ahora mismo en mis brazos.
Ahora mismo estoy el el fondo del abismo, del mismo infinito, esto por no tenerte a mi lado. Y asi como tu sientes un extasis conmigo, yo siento lo mismo contigo...

And there's more but that's to special to write here. Michelle I love you, and I never want to leave you...

Movie making!

2005-05-12T22:15:00.000-04:00

New hobby, movie making. I'm making music videos with Final Fantasy 7 9 and 10. Just found a new way to entertain myself when i'm not with michelle. ¿yay?

Is anyone there?

2005-05-12T21:08:00.000-04:00

So after being a month with my marvelous, beautiful, enviable yet simple enough to be humble girlfriend, many things have come to mind. My only problem with these thoughts is that they have brought me nothing but bad, really bad feelings. I feel like if I'm growing distant with her and truely and sincerely this breaks my heart. I'm going to college, the Universidad de Puerto Rico, Recinto de Humacao, (¿Wow?, no!) I feel terrible because my girlfriendis in tenth grade! I'm in twelfth grade with 3 more days of class left. The problem isn't that in going to college, the problem is that the college is in Humacao, a southeastern part of here, Puerto Rico, and I currently live in the northern part across San Juan. This, in case you don't know IS FAR! It'll be days without miky, and with women that look like men with breast! But whatever, I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Personally, my parents say we won't last, and I've told Miky that, and as always ( but ambarasing) She always takes things maturely, making me feel like a complete idiot, only because I break my mind over things like that, which I still am, but whatever, Michelle, I love you, and I will do whatever it takes to make these things go away. I just wish sometimes that I could just disappear off of the face of the earth with Miky, just to avoid these problems, but since I'm no magician, much less easy going, 'cause I'm hard headed, ignorant and just a bit over the top, proud and egotistical (thanks skyler, it's true), i'VE GOT TO TAKE THINGS FACE ON! (my goodness, i'm my own father, nooooooooo!)

Scared!

2005-05-07T22:59:00.000-04:00

hi bloggers, i know you might not know me. My name is Michelle , Juan's girl friend. I have to confess I was really scared to post. Still am , but I wanted to get an opinion from anyone on this subject... Being scared is something I am really comfortable with, I explain I've being scared of many things in my life , but it has never being like this. I am really scared of the future , of what life has planned for me. I have this terrible fright about what is going to happen to me. I am also scared of losing something or some one i love ... but most of all i am scared of what lies ahead. So if any one feels or has felt this way and wants to give an opinion on this subject feel free to do so. bye!!!

¿Yay?

2005-05-04T21:21:00.000-04:00

Well, the AP is over. I took the English, Math and Pre-calculus. The english test was a piece of cake, math wasn't as easy but I finished it, And Pre-cal., well, what can I say never payed attention in class and never heard of it, so I didn't finish it and I gave up, pathetic, don't you think so too. Well I don't know about you but that test made me feel like crap...

Addicted

2005-04-26T21:15:00.000-04:00

My goodness, it feels soooo good to be with her. It's like floating in an endless field of plastic balls. You float while the balls massage your back and slowing you sink into your own concept of heaven. Anyways, leaving that point just a tad bit behind, what's up people? Anything new? Well, as for me, yes, there are many new things in my life. For starters, I have this wonderous and lust-filled girlfriend which I love too damn much, but that's ok, I guess. Ok, whatever, something else that's new, I'm taking the advanced placement test (AP) tomorrow, bummer, yet it still satisfies my need to feel smarter than the rest of you idiots, ha ha ha. Ok, but I'm still not that smart, today was the AP test of Spanish, and I did not qualify to take it because my GPA in spanish is aprox. 2.25 (c), and no, that is not good because I'm in the nerd's class, I'm supposed to be smart. Ah whatever you shouldn't care, I don't so why bother? Well, bye fellow bloggers until next time!

Gone sleeping!

2005-04-23T22:32:00.000-04:00

Going 2 sleep ! yay! With my other woman ( my Mp3) yup! =)

Un condamnéà mort s’est échappé

2005-04-23T21:11:00.000-04:00

It took me a while to figure it out, but I've finally got it! Well, it's not that hard to figure out! I'm going to hell!

All of these days I've been fearing to open up my Bible because everytime I do the first thing I see is something about the wrath of God or damnation of the soul. Even worse, my girlfriend was preaching Tuesday (Felicidades Miky!) and she's talking about building all tower or wall of faith, and the thing is that everything she said that was needed for that tower or wall, were particularly the things that I lack or once had but I let myself fall. Anyways, I still have "faith" (I guess) and I hope that one day I can finally get the strength to repent for my sins. But for now I guess I know I know nothing at all? Or do I?

Un condamnéà mort s’est échappé=)

This just means A condemned escaped, Or something like that?

Please Understand me

2005-04-23T20:57:00.000-04:00

Anonymous asked why was it so hard to believe I found love, but aparentely, Anonymous, does not understand the concept of me being a pervert. And besides I consider myself too complicated of a person. I try to figure out the reason colors look better at night. So anonymous, if you read this, understand that my life before Michelle was sex, masturbation, porn, music, guitar, and more porn. And that is that. Anyone else want a piece of me?

I found Love!

2005-04-17T21:59:00.000-04:00

I finally found love! It's wierd that I actually have a girlfriend, but I HAVE ONE!

What do you think?

2005-03-22T11:43:00.000-04:00

I just want to know, what do you think? What inspires you to live?
What gives you inspiration to just get out of bed, walk, breathe, everything?
Please, just something serious. I personally just live to feel the wind blowing to give me goosebumps, How 'bout u?

What is Good Morning?

2005-03-18T15:26:00.000-04:00

This is a little poem I wrote when I came into High school.

What is good morning?
When life is just mourning.
When anguished pains make you feel korny.
When life itself seems to have no meaning,
When everyone seems to have no feelings.
When people run by as if there's no tomorrow,
When everything feels like pain and sorrow.
So is being alive, such a good thing?
What do I know, I'm just a teen.

The original poem was a bit different, but since I lost it this is what I remembered.
Enjoy!

Saved!

2005-03-18T14:30:00.000-04:00

Just remembering, I forgot to say the most impacting thing that happened to me. The day I went to the UMET, I had an experience like no other. When the field trip was over some of my friends and I were going to this pizza place. Before we left,I went to say hello to a friend of mine that was playing handball, whatever. I run back to my friends, out of nowhere this blue jeep come out at full speed towards me. The last thing I saw of that jeep was the front that said Jeep. Then suddenly I appear next to the jeep and it runs over my feet. At that moment I felt that there was something there. There must have been something that pushed me out of the way because I know that didn't have time to react, and much less to get out of the way. And the best part is that my feet where just dandy. No fracture, nothing. I'm as sane as I could ever be, and nothing can change that.

I never actually questioned him until...

2005-03-03T17:02:00.000-04:00

I got to high school I always believed in God, never asked to prove anything, I just believed in him. Then at that turning point in life I stopped and said, "How? How could he exists, how do we know he's always with us if most of the time I can't feel him. Then it came to me, like getting slapped by your mother after stealing a candy from a store, it's called faith. To believe in something you can't see, hear or touch, you have to have faith. And then I realized that saying that says you have to be like a child to enter heaven, or something like that. So I guess that's that and now I have faith in my faith.

Leon de Juda

2005-03-03T16:50:00.000-04:00

Tody I went to the UMET, which is a college here in P.R., and I had a great time. There was this christian "rock" band playing there and it was cool and all, but I was thinking,"How many people that are here actually believe in God?" Ok, everybody knew who was the band, but do they know anything about God? Are we lost?

Help me

2005-02-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

I never felt normal, and I never wanted to admit it but, I'm sick. Few of my friends are christian and I never felt like searching for God, but now realizing that I'm sick I feel like God's my only hope. My mind drags my body down the road of perdition while my soul remains lost. If your reading this and think I have bad health, believe me, my health is just great.