Never meant to be so cold...

It's been a while since I've last posted. But all I really want to say is that, as Michelle said, the end is coming, I have no idea what has come upon me, but I can't find any other way to try and avoid my feelings towards Michelle. The semester is starting august 8, and I've been trying to be strong and stray my feelings toward Michelle, as I said because, well, I understand it's going to be hard for us both. At nights, I can't sleep because Michelle is constantly in my head, it's like a guilty conscience, the side effect of doing something you shouldn't, and I guess that what I'm doing is denying what's to come. Baby, I'm sorry for that. People, right now is a very delicate time in both our lives, we've been together for quite a while, and I don't want this to end, not yet, not like this. This whole college thing has been like a terrible nightmare, in which, seriously, I've actually thought of putting my life in hold, till she comes out of high school, but I can't control my life 'cause I'm still underage. But after writing all this, I guess the only place I can look for help, is in God. After all, I still have faith.