Dancing in the Rainshower of tears

It's so incredible the things that go through the human mind when it's most vulnerable to anything. From Wednesday to Sunday I was thinking about Michelle and how she has this whole dilemma about getting over me. I wish I could just give her hope, about us but how? I mean, we live miles apart, she can't handle distance, I can't either, but at least knowing I have someone on the other side lets me live in peace, but it's over. No matter how much I regret that night we stood in front of each other with that gate between us, and I told her to not say it was goodbye but maybe a see you later. Then when she was about to leave and turns to me and kisses me on the lips. That kiss that seemed to last forever, and then that moment we let go my world shattered. This emptiness filled my insides, my chest caved in, my breath left my body and tears washed my face, just like they're about to now. Then walking back to my house I felt rain drops slowly tap my head and shoulders. Walking to my house was endless, it felt like walking in the desert, but with pavement and rain, lots of rain. I felt that at that moment I was starting to lose it all. When I got to my house I cried the endless cries I hadn't cried in years. All those years of torment, mistreatment, anger, every feeling posible that I could ever feel just made me feel down. I've taken this new role in my life, as the guy you'd never want to be, but looking at how I came to be who I am today, just makes my life a bit more beautiful. I wouldn't trade anything about my life, not even the pain, who else would know how to handle it but me. By the way, look out for my book, The Scene, I don't know when it'll be out, but it's just mostly about this young boy living and surviving his own desisions, heck I just started it the other day, but I have so much to write, just in case, yes this is the book of my life portrayed in someone else. Michelle, I love you.